When the Problem Isn't a Problem—Navigating Tensions as a Core Leadership Capacity
The end of 2025 allowed me some time to slow down and reflect on what I saw and heard this year in my coaching. What struck me most is how challenging a time this has been (and remains) for so many of my clients. When I ask, "How are you?" at the start of a call, I hear more frustration and exhaustion than ever before. There's too much to do, not enough time, and problems that seem increasingly intractable. There is no obvious solution, or the solutions seem to be only temporary. Whether it's the impossibility of planning around tariffs that keep changing (for my for-profit clients) or the changing donor landscape (for my not-for-profit clients), these challenges continue to increase the levels of uncertainty and complexity. And it's worth noting that those levels were already quite high.
One thing that has helped my clients in navigating the increased uncertainty is a perspective shift—moving from the view that leaders are primarily problem-solvers to a view of leadership that includes both problem-solving AND tension management. This shift is, unsurprisingly, if you've been reading my posts over the years, rooted in appreciating that complex is different from complicated.
The Foundation: Complex and Complicated
When things are complicated, there is a path from A to Z, and with enough expertise and effort, you can figure that path out and get there. This is the domain of problem-solving. And most of us love solving problems. It’s deeply satisfying. (As I write this, I'm thinking about the 1000-piece puzzles that I worked on over the holiday break. There were times that they seemed impossible, but I knew that a combination of strategy and patience would work because there was a solution and every piece did, in fact, have a home.) In the complex domain, things are fuzzier. We haven't been here before, no one has, and there's no pre-determined solution (e.g., the picture on the puzzle box) that can guide us. The complex challenges we face don't have an obvious solution—we can't just follow a plan, even one we create. When we try to apply our well-honed problem-solving skills, it can feel exhausting and demoralizing. They don't get us where we're trying to go—often leaving us worse off than when we started. (For more on complexity, here’s a longer post on Dave Snowden’s Cynefin Framework that goes much deeper.)
So, I'd like to suggest that trying to "solve" problems that don't have "solutions" is a significant source of our exhaustion and overwhelm—and burnout. When we can take a step back, we can see that within these complex challenges and inherent uncertainty, there are underlying tensions. These tensions need to be managed rather than solved. When we recognize the distinction between a problem to solve and a tension to manage, new approaches become available to us. What I've observed in my clients is a sense of relief and of possibility. This won’t make the hard stuff go away, but it helps shed a different light on the problems we spend so much energy trying to solve—and can lighten the burden. Here’s what that looks like in practice.
The Relief of Recognition
Recently, a client was describing an ongoing organizational tension—one that's existed for years between central staff and field teams. She's a problem-solver by nature, and I could hear the fatigue in her voice as she said, "How on earth are we gonna solve this?"
I offered a different frame: "I have a suspicion that this is in the category of a tension to manage, not a problem to solve."
Her response was immediate: "Okay, I like that... I can breathe a little lighter. Like, I can't solve this problem, but I can look at ways to navigate that tension more effectively."
That sigh of relief? I hear it often. She went on: "And sometimes I feel like we're just talking about it, and we get tired. We get tired of talking about it because we're trying to come to a solution. And we can't, right? And we're exhausted."
This exhaustion—this wheel-spinning—isn't coming from the challenge itself. It's coming from misidentifying the kind of challenge we're facing. There's something liberating about recognizing that you're not failing at solving something. There IS a path forward, just a different one.
What Changes When We Reframe
When my client realized her challenge was a tension to manage, not a problem to solve, her next comment was: "So, if we define it as a tension, then we're going to take a different approach than if we define it as a problem.” Exactly.
Instead of asking "How do we solve this?" the question becomes: "What are some things we might want to try out to navigate this tension?" The work shifts from attempting to eliminate the tension to developing the capacity to navigate it skillfully. And that usually means small moves and adjustments that help you better manage the tension.
The Cost of Misidentification
When we misidentify a tension as a problem to solve, several things happen:
We exhaust ourselves searching for a permanent solution—spending hours in meetings trying to find the answer when the answer doesn’t (and can’t) exist.
We get frustrated when our solutions don't stick—and begin to doubt ourselves as leaders.
We miss the opportunity to develop the skills of navigation—to build the capacity to make small moves—and then monitor and learn from those moves.
Think about classic organizational tensions: centralization and decentralization, stability and change, client focus and employee focus. These aren't problems with solutions. They're ongoing dynamics that require navigation. If you’re familiar with polarities, this will sound familiar. In fact, recognizing the distinction between problems and tensions is a way into seeing polarities more clearly—and for many people, the hardest part of navigating polarities is seeing them in the first place.
The Question That Changes Everything
So how do you know whether you’re dealing with a problem to solve or a tension to manage? Here are some clues you might be dealing with a tension rather than a problem:
The "problem" keeps repeating—even after applying “solutions.”
Different stakeholders legitimately need different things.
You find yourselves in endless, tiring conversations that you can’t find your way out of—with no good solutions emerging.
There are different perspectives, and there’s value in including both. For example, there’s value in staying the course AND in trying new things.
When you identify something as a tension to navigate rather than a problem to solve, you may suddenly feel that you can breathe. You feel unstuck. You can stop looking for the final answer and start to dynamically navigate the tension. You can appreciate that small moves and adjustments matter. You can see this not as a failure to solve but as skillful navigation.
Leading from This Frame
This distinction isn't just intellectually satisfying—it's practically transformative. When you bring this kind of question into the room with your team, you shift the entire conversation. Instead of arguing about whose solution is right, you can explore:
What is the tension underlying what we are trying to solve for?
What does this tension need from us right now?
What small adjustments would help us navigate more skillfully?
Could we think even smaller? (We are not trained to think small, so I use this one often!)
You're not abandoning problem-solving. We still need that capacity for true problems. But you're expanding your leadership repertoire to include something equally essential: the ability to identify and navigate ongoing tensions with grace, skill, and both/and thinking.
So, the next time you find yourself exhausted by a problem that won't stay solved, ask yourself: Is this really a problem? Or is it a tension I'm trying to navigate? That question alone might give you—and your team—room to breathe.
Further Reading
Snowden, D. J., & Boone, M. E. (2007). A leader's framework for decision making. Harvard Business Review, 85(11), 68-76.
Johnson, B. (1992). Polarity Management: Identifying and Managing Unsolvable Problems. HRD Press.
Emerson, B., & Lewis, K. (2019). Navigating Polarities: Using Both/And Thinking to Lead Transformation. Paradox Strategies, LLC.
The Cynefin Framework: https://thecynefin.co/about-us/about-cynefin-framework/